Proposal for a Ministerial Portfolio of Music

UNDERSTANDING that the people of the Republic of Sri Lanka are suffering from severe depression and hardships due to the current situation; 

 RECOGNISING that the Government has been putting undue pressure on the people of Sri Lanka;

 REALIZING that a viable solution has to be developed;

COGNIZANT that a happy people means a happy country;

 The community of Sri Lankan Bloggers hereby put forward the following proposal:

 1.  A new Ministerial Portfolio be created with immediate effect to see to the needs of the Sri Lankan people;

 1.1 This portfolio is to be headed by an eminent  person of standing among the community;

 1.2 The Minister shall receive the title “Minister of Rock and Roll”

 1.3 The Minister of Rock and Roll shall create a Rock Ministry to deal with the issues affecting the country;

 1.4 The Minister of Rock shall only be answerable to the public and, on occasion, to angry drummers;

 2.  Functions of the Ministry of Rock

 2.1 The untaxed and free dissemination of Rock music to the people of the country;

 2.3 Creating tax concessions for tattoos;

 2.4 Creating tax exemptions for hair gel, leather products, and metal body piercings;

 2.5 Subsidize electric guitars;

2.6 Ban teenie pop music, with special attention to the Titanic theme song;

2.7 Coordinate forums where rockers can gather to exchange ideas, chords, and get stoned;

With the above changes in effect, it is estimated that the situation in Sri Lanka would stabilize within a period of 6 months. Even if the situation does not stabilize, the people of Sri Lanka will be so involved in sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll that they probably won’t give a tit.

Keeping Your New Year’s Resolution

Do you remember all those New Year’s resolutions you made? Losing weight, getting a six pack, practicing that guitar you got hidden somewhere, losing weight, being more organized, saving money, and losing weight? Do you remember what happened to all of them? You don’t? Well me neither.

The thing is New Year’s resolutions are jinxed from the start. You are terribly pleased with the New Year, full of energy and will power, bursting with enthusiasm, but by the time February finishes its back to the blueberry cheese cake, the couch, and complaining about office. You just can’t help it. It happens! It’s not really your fault. Keeping that enthusiasm going for a year is tough. Once we are fixed in a groove, its very difficult to get out of it. It’s in the genes (isn’t everything?).

But here are some tips that might help even the odds this year:

First, start with big changes, not small ones, a strategy likely to yield immediate, noticeable benefits that inspire more positive change.

The second is to act like the kind of person you are trying to become; even if you hit the jogging trail with 30 pounds of flab, think of yourself as the jock you want to be.

The third strategy is to “reframe” the situation. Recovering alcoholics, for example, have a higher chance of success if they reframe their sober life as a divorce from a tumultuous love affair with drinking, because they can then look back at their old life as a romantic adventure, rather than a sinkhole of regret.

The fourth, and crucial, strategy, is based on the “don’t do it alone” advice that is the bedrock of 12-step programs.

Try these and see what it does for your resolutions! (And if it works, gimme a buzz!)

Happy New Year by the way, bloggers!