Some of the most important tests of a country’s democratic status are:
1. Human Rights
2. Media Freedom
3. Access to Pornography
The country is going to the dogs now.. I thought it was bad when they banned Human Rights from the country. I thought it was worse when they banned News from the Island (no pun intended). But nothing prepared me for the shock in store for all patriotic Sri Lankans when they banned porn! I protest most vehemently! Porn is a fundamental constitutional right for all consenting adults. It is an absolute necessity for all those who can’t get laid, and a terrible inconvenience for those who don’t have time for foreplay or the after-cuddle. Sri Lankan men are genetically blessed with high capacity testicles, and the female population is simply unable to cope with the excessive surge of libido that this entails. Thus the internet, the saviour of blue-balled-bodies everywhere, comes to the rescue, easing the pressure on boxers, briefs and sarongs country-wide.
Until now that is.
Porn is now banned, and it is back to coconut scrapers (who remembers that incident?), mobile phones, test-tubes, boiled eggs and jack fruit.
Already you can feel the tension in the country as men (and some women) keep hitting F5 in the hopes that it is a temporary error, but alas, it is not. These sites have been announced as being banned:
www.lankasexclips.com, www.ambalk.co.cc, http://lankasexlalk.com, www.sexylk.com, www.lankasexonline.com, www.redtube.com, www.tube8.com, www.adultfriendfinder.com, www.livejasmin.com, http://www.xnxx.com, and http://xhaster.com http://zvideos.com
No more will Adult Friendfinder promise you blond caucasian babes in dambulla, or will redtube do whatever it is redtube does best. Friends, its the dark ages all over again. Let us lend each other a helping hand in this time of trouble. Let us raise our voices so the heavens ring with our cry:
“Take away our rights! Take away our freedom! But don’t you DARE touch our porn!!!”
