Things I Simply Dont Get..

Low Rise Pants… For Men

Ok, I understand how hipsters are sexy. On women. Accentuates nice waist lines, hugs that curvy hip, shoes a bit of thong.. But men?!
At HOF two weeks ago while browsing for some trousers, this guy bends over and I see that his jeans come approximately up to his crotch. The only thing that saved my sanity was a pair of worn plaid boxers. But even that didnt cover everything, and peeking out from the elastic band was butt cleavage. I mean COME ON! No woman i have ever spoken to has ever wanted to see butt in that manner.
When i used to go to school, i used to see these kids going to ubiquitous tuition classes wearing jeans that were barely held up by the curve of their behind. And God help those who have flat butts. I always had this tremendous urge to give their pants a tug, and gloat over the cerebral confusion that results when one’s dirty undies are exposed to the world.
My advice: wear trousers where they are supposed to be worn. If not, at least cover your backside. If not, at least wear good underwear..

High Heels

Why? They may be sexy but why? When you get home, your toes hurt, your ankles hurt, they are bad for your back. If you are in a bus and the driver hits the breaks hard, you end up in some one’s lap.
Hell, you could break an ankle. And besides, it really hurts the feet of the men you step on.

Bras

Why are there no D-cups in Sri Lanka? I know there are D-cup women but why is it so hard to find bras that dont look like the type your great-great-grandmama would find groovy?
And why do they have pointy bras? Sometimes I walk down the street and almost feel threatened by those pointy things around me. Those bras take a perfectly normal breast and turn it into a weapon. And I wonder why they seem to point in opposite directions..

Straightened Hair

There’s just so much of it around! I used to think it was cool, but by Jingo, its taken over Lanka!

Deodorant

Its cheap. Its available. Please use it!

Under-arm Hair

If you dont want to shave it, at least trim it. Please!

Queues and Flights

There are two classes of people (that I know) who simply rush every queue as if they have to get onto a Sri Lankan bus. They are Indians and Sri Lankans.
Planes are not gonna run away. I wish they’d all just sit in their seats till the plane stops..

Small Talk

Has anyone ever come across a conversation like this in Sinhala?

Standing in a queue in a bank, two gentlemen who know each other meet.
Chap1: Ah, hello! How are you?
Chap2: Fine, fine! How are you?
Chap1: Fine. I just came to the bank.
Chap2: Yes, I just came to the bank too.
Chap2(staring out at the pouring rain): Its raining hard no?
Chap1: Yes, yes. Its raining hard.

Cars

This is a developing country. How the hell do we have such expensive cars. I mean i have never seen such expensive cars even in India.

Just a few things that i dont get. If you were me, you probably wouldnt get it either.

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5 comments
  1. Mr. Evil said:

    lol 🙂 Man enlightening.. those small talks.. i’ve over heard many and hell i confess i’ve done many too 😀 Time to change my ways ! lol

  2. Janus said:

    I know.. lol. You are so used to the type of small talk around here that you simply use it when ever necessary..

  3. jokermanhttps://jokerman.wordpress.com said:

    great post. timely issues. need discussion. get everybody’s mind offa the penis lengths.

    to help out:

    1. anal cleavage: i think you’ll find the answer(s) here: http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/sagging.asp .. however, the worrying thing is that if they ARE the answers, then you just might have got hit on at that store…

    2. heels: search me, mate. i think it’s got something to do with being and average of 3.5 inches shorter than males. plus, if someone in a bus landed on your lap, you mightve been hit on again (heels here being the excuse)…

    3. bras: at the moment, what robin williams calls the Nazi Tits are In. meanhile, if you find yourself being jousted off the horsey by one of them lances, rest assured; youre being hit on. again…

    4. straight hair: ever since the Predator Movies, these have been in. youre not being hit on, though.

    5. deodorant: you certainly arent being hit on.

    6. Uder arm hair: whoops. if they let you see, they’re letting you go.

    7. Flight Ques: Funnily enough, Sri Lankan double booked a seat the last two times i flew with them. maybe theyre figuring, ‘if you rush to sit, we might as well give ye a reason to’

    8. Small Talk: “everywhere you go; always take the weather with you.”

    9. Cars: Development = brainwork*moneywork. our brainwork tends to zero. hence not a developing country. however, low brain and big money mean planty big cars. the british HC used to get about onna three wheeler those days… anyway, the cars also help with hitting on people. yeah?

  4. Janus said:

    Ha ha! So it mostly consists of being hit on!
    And note, i said butt cleavage, not anal cleavage. God help me if i saw anal cleavage!

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