I really was not going to write a post on this topic. I mean, I really was not going to. After reading RD‘s post, which was mildly disgusting in a gay sort of way, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. But then JJ popped up with his 2 cents worth (of toilet paper), and I had to go read it, and now I simply have to preach other forms of bum hygiene. Besides, he did prophesy that more such posts would follow suit, and I do so hate to see a good prophesy go to waste..
Anyone who has spent some of their growing years in Sri Lanka would have almost certainly been influenced by this Island’s approach to hygiene. For one, you are taught that the left hand is the left hand, and then you are taught what to do and what not to do with that left hand. That is, you are to wash your behind with your left hand, but you are not allowed to eat with it. (Don’t ask me what left-handers do, for I never asked) It is a hygienic system, and it makes sense, though I do believe the modern invention of really good soap allows you the freedom to eat with your left hand.
Back to the left hand now. Along with the left hand comes a good supply of water and a good supply of soap. That was the way it was done, in my mind, and that should have been the way it should always be done. That was before I learned that some people use toilet paper. Only.
At this stage in my life, I know the reasons and arguments for toilet paper, so it is no longer any surprise, but it is still not a, ummm, method that, ummmm, holds water in my books. (mixed up metaphors, oops) Once your body is done with all the junk you eat, the resulting mess is in quite a nasty shape, and while it’s been excreted, there are obviously traces of it on you. Simply dry wiping it may remove the major part of it, but not all. Wipe as much as you want, you will still leave traces of poop on you. Even a wet wipe, while doing a better job, does not get all the water-insoluble ummmm.. poop grease off you. But soap and water, now there is a better solution. The soap emulsifies the organic liquid, and gets it off you, as well as killing the germs, leaving you cleaner and healthier, (and less smelly). You can always dry yourself off with toilet paper afterwards as well, so no complaints there.
And those are my bum thoughts. Granted, wet wipes containing spirits would probably function well (almost), but I prefer the fresh-arsed feeling of soap and water.
There. I wrote it. One of my shitier posts, if I do say so myself. Wonder what Achcharu will tag it as… ‘Shit-Room Spam’ maybe?