Proposal for a Ministerial Portfolio of Music

UNDERSTANDING that the people of the Republic of Sri Lanka are suffering from severe depression and hardships due to the current situation; 

 RECOGNISING that the Government has been putting undue pressure on the people of Sri Lanka;

 REALIZING that a viable solution has to be developed;

COGNIZANT that a happy people means a happy country;

 The community of Sri Lankan Bloggers hereby put forward the following proposal:

 1.  A new Ministerial Portfolio be created with immediate effect to see to the needs of the Sri Lankan people;

 1.1 This portfolio is to be headed by an eminent  person of standing among the community;

 1.2 The Minister shall receive the title “Minister of Rock and Roll”

 1.3 The Minister of Rock and Roll shall create a Rock Ministry to deal with the issues affecting the country;

 1.4 The Minister of Rock shall only be answerable to the public and, on occasion, to angry drummers;

 2.  Functions of the Ministry of Rock

 2.1 The untaxed and free dissemination of Rock music to the people of the country;

 2.3 Creating tax concessions for tattoos;

 2.4 Creating tax exemptions for hair gel, leather products, and metal body piercings;

 2.5 Subsidize electric guitars;

2.6 Ban teenie pop music, with special attention to the Titanic theme song;

2.7 Coordinate forums where rockers can gather to exchange ideas, chords, and get stoned;

With the above changes in effect, it is estimated that the situation in Sri Lanka would stabilize within a period of 6 months. Even if the situation does not stabilize, the people of Sri Lanka will be so involved in sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll that they probably won’t give a tit.

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3 comments
  1. Sean said:

    Brilliant idea….

    Unfortunately, in true Sri Lankan Ministerial style, any potential Minister of Rock and Roll is far more likely to:

    * Ban the importing of R&R instruments by anybody other than the Ministry;
    * Sell the instruments to us at grossly inflated prices (with the Minister taking a huge cut for himself);
    * Only commission Rock songs that sing the praises of the Minster, the Ministry and the Government in general; and
    * Shoot anyone who doesn’t follow Ministry approved guidelines for Rock & Roll.

    Among other things 😦

  2. AAAARRRGHHH…goddamit…that can happen cant it? well not if it’s a rocker who becomes minister:-) but i guess they’ll just take the favourites for the job out of the picture:-s

    Goddamit

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